Twenty million people live and work in Tokyo. It's so big that nobody really knows where it stops. It's long since filled up the plain, and now it's creeping up the mountains to the west and reclaiming land from the bay in the east. The city never stops rewriting itself. In the time one street guide is produced, it has already become out of date. It's a tall city, and a deep one, as well as a spread-out one. Things are always moving below you, and above your head. All these people, flyovers, cars, walkways, subways, offices, tower blocks, power cables, pipes, apartments, it all adds up to a lot of weight. You have to do something to stop yourself caving in, or you just become a piece of flotsam or an ant in a tunnel. In smaller cities people can use the space around them to insulate themselves, to remind themselves of who they are. Not in Tokyo. You just don't have the space, not unless you're a company president, a gangster, a politician, or the emperor. You're pressed against people body to body in the metro, several hands gripping each strap on the trains. Apartment windows have no view but other apartment windows.

No, in Tokyo you have to make your place inside your head.

There are different ways people make this place. Sweat, exercise, and pain is one way. You can see them in the gyms, in the well-ordered swimming pools. You can see them jogging in the small, worn parks. Another way to make your place is TV. A bright, brash place, always well lit, full of fun and jokes that tell you when to laugh so you never miss them. World news carefully edited so that it's not too disturbing, but disturbing enough to make you glad that you weren't born in a foreign country. News with music to tell you who to hate, who to feel sorry for, and who to laugh at.

Takeshi's place is the nightlife. Clubs, and bars, and the women who live there.

There are many other places. There's an invisible Tokyo built of them, existing in the minds of us, its citizens. Internet, manga, Hollywood, doomsday cults, they are all places where you go and where you matter as an individual. Some people will tell you about their places straight off, and won't shut up about it all night. Other keep it hidden like a garden in a mountain forest.

People with no place are those who end up throwing themselves onto the tracks.

My place comes into existence through jazz. Jazz makes a fine place. The colors and feelings there come not from the eye but from sounds. It's like being blind but seeing more. This is why I work here in Takeshi's shop. Not that I could ever put that into words.

-- David Mitchell (Ghostwritten, p 38-39)

Ghostwritten is amazing! This passage was so eloquently written that I couldn't help but post it. The novel itself is a series of short stories that all connect. Holy Mountain, the chapter I read last night, was so moving that I had to reread it before I could even continue on. Mitchell is a brilliant author and the versatility of his writing in order to account for radically different cultural world views is like nothing I've ever encountered before. Ghostwritten also has a really subtle blend of the physical and metaphysical that not even Latin American magical realism can mimic as far as I'm concerned.

I had to take a short break from Ghostwritten last night to read Lewis's The Magician's Nephew, the prequel to the Narnia series, for one of my seminars. Blatant biblical imagery aside, there is an interesting connection (at least I think so) between this story and the story "The Tree from Adam's Grave." Both involve the act of planting a tree for the salvation of the world: in Lewis, the tree protects Narnia from the White Witch who fears and resents the tree's power, in Belting, the Tree of Life is planted and eventually chopped down for wood to make the cross upon which Jesus would be crucified (thus rendering the Crucifixion a necessary miracle). More on this later when I'm not sitting at work...

土曜日：　ディワーリという祭りを見に行った。ジナとアルナと一緒に行った。楽しかった。The wandering eyes, however, were not appreciated.

日曜日：　「命の木」のクラスと一緒に森林公園に行った。行く前に私は友達と朝ご飯食べに行って、IHOPでアダムについて話していた。やっと俺は彼に謝った（１月からのことを）。昨日私達は目を合ったりして、何になる？いい友達も出会って、彼女と私は「コネクション」が強そう！

Voting this morning was very empowering. I hope that tomorrow I will be able to return to this post in high spirits because Barack Obama won the election. I've threatened to immolate myself should that not be the case, I wonder if I would actually go through with it? If McCain wins the election the world will be destined for destruction anyway, I might as well get it over with prior to our actual extinction...

That kind of thinking is never healthy, so I'll just sing

this is real and not fo' play
I'mma vote Obama way
$%*@ what yo' mama say
I'mma vote Obama way

Sed ea nocte clanculo ego profectus sum, illa autem non; mansit orando et flendo. et quid a te petebat, deus meus, tantis lacrimis, nisi ut navigare me non sineres? sed alte consulens, et exaudiens cardinem desiderii eius, non curasti quod tunc petebat, ut me faceres quod semper petebat.

But that night I departed in secret without her, and she remained behind praying and crying. And what was she begging of you with such tears, my god, if not to keep me from leaving? But taking counsel on high and truly hearing her prayer you did not grant her immediate desires in order that you might grant what she had always prayed for me.

My translation of the original Latin is a bit shaky, it has been a while since I've translated. Needless to say, something occurred today that reminded me of this scene between Augustine, his mother, and God, perhaps my favorite line in the entire text. It has plenty of Christian theological connotations, but it speaks on so many levels beyond that. I've been thinking about it all day, and it will probably be one of the last things I think about when I fall asleep.

久しぶりです。長い間何も書かなかったここで。実は書く必要はなかったと思うーなぜか分からない今も、だけど今の時代とその時の時代が違う。

I had an amazing birthday weekend, although the party definitely started Thursday night as far as I'm concerned. I had a wonderful dinner (and several drinks) with my favorite people on Saturday, Mike was such a gentleman for organizing the whole thing and paying for me. A very epic party took place at the Love Shack on Sunday night. It was a great turnout and everything (for the most part) went smoothly. I have been in love with this apartment since the day I first moved in and it was so nice to finally flaunt its cuteness to everyone. Seeing friends from all different times in my life together in the same place was extremely surreal and it is something I will not forget. All in all it was brilliant, and my friends = love.

Long time no post!

Life is flying by, things are stressful per usual. Luckily I have amazing friends, family, and a beautiful someone with whom to drink it all down (though we chug it carbomb style).

１月の終わりに彼氏と出会った。私は彼のことがとても好きです。A friend stayed with me for a while; he had nowhere else to go. That two week long experience taught me a great deal about myself, and I am sure my friend learned a great deal about himself as well. Yukiya from Japan came to visit Erin and I shortly thereafter, which meant way too many of us squeezed into my little studio in Somerville. I went to a D'espairs Ray/MUCC concert that weekend and got to meet and greet MUCC.

No time to sift through memories right now, just wanted to say hi. I wish there was more time in the day. I also wished the sun shined more. I am trying to quit smoking, my Duck has taken away all my cigarettes, I hope it works.

A new chapter begins...

1) Theories and Methods in the Study of Religion (Patton & Carrasco)
2) Hindu Myth, Image, and Pilgrimage (Eck)
3) Selfhood and the Christian Mystical Tradition (Coyne)
4) Heresey, Orthodoxy, and Religious Identity in Medieval Christianity (Kienzle)

No class on Mondays, that's quite refreshing. Heresy is a Latin course, all of our readings will be from and about famous heretical figures and in their original lingua Latina (so I am clearly going to be struggling all semester). Hindu Myth seems like it's going to be a blast, even despite the large class size. Selfhood is a brilliant class on mysticism taught by a really hot professor who should come to class with less clothing on. Finally, Theories is taught by a team, and more specifically, my adviser. After having such an atrocious last semester I have decided that I need to prove to her that I am not as stupid as I often sound. We'll see how that goes.

The game last night was bullshit and not worth today's hangover.

Choosing classes for this semester has become rocket science because I managed to pack my schedule full of superfluous language courses last semester and during the summer. The Women, Gender, Sexuality and Religion program at HDS seemed really appealing tonight, but before I dive right in and change my class schedule around again I think I'll sleep on it a night. Thanks to people like Starhawk and Adler, discussion of Neo-Paganism cannot happen without special attention to gender and sexuality; outside of the Neo-Pagan realm is a whole other exhaustive list of liberation theologies both in the present and in antiquity. It might be interesting to navigate the religious/theological liberation sphere, we Neo-Pagans are a certainly a revolution in and of ourselves.

And now back to the real world...

I moved from my apartment in Cambridge with Krista to a studio in Somerville where I live alone. I have plenty of moving left to do, but things are shaping up. I've had a lot of gracious help from friends and every time it was quite an adventure (a.k.a. sex, drugs & rock 'n roll... but probably just the last two).

I am also thankful to have met a really nice guy during finals back in January. It's hard to meet nice guys, especially ones with a cute dog like this guy. He has been a really good friend, and that is really important to me because I feel more alone than ever up here in this crazy city. Things are changing so quickly now, I can feel it in my bones sometimes. I don't know what we are exactly or what will become of us, but labels are not terribly important to me, I am contented simply by enjoying his company.

Kudos to whoever got the Dir en grey reference, I'll say no more ;)

Both of my final papers are completed and handed in; they sucked.

I have two tests today, Latin and Greek. I haven't studied any more than maybe six hours, which means I am going to CRASH and BURN. I am just praying that Harvard doesn't kick me out for failing at life -- where then would I go?

Fail or not, I'M GETTING SO DRUNK TONIGHT I WON'T KNOW MY NAME ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

Got a fuckin problem!?!?!!

Alas, I am back in the library busting my ass so I don't fail out of Harvard. This semester has been a serious head trip, and while I am already very appreciative of lessons learned, I am equally stressed about the consequences of my overall performance. Fortunately, I do not have much time to spend fretting about my grades because I simply have way too much work ahead of me. I am confident in my assertion that this week will probably be one of the most difficult work weeks of my life, but there can be no sleep for the wicked!